A Letter to You

// वक़्त ने हैं किया हमपे कैसा सितम

तुम भी बेज़ार हो बरबाद हैं हम //

Time flies faster than the arrow. Everything changes within a friction of a second. I kept waiting for you when you were long gone. "Move on" you said and I accepted your words, like always.

"Let's move our ways, that'll be good for both of us!"

Your words still echo in my head. When I reached for you but you were gone, I stood there. Alone. And with you, gone was my heart. In just a moment you went far ahead, breaking those promises of forever. And I? I stayed there, looking for you. Was it a fever dream? When I saw you shedding tears (of love?), under the shadow of that tree, where I first met you and where you made the final decision for us! I saw you coming back to where you left me,

"Let's move our ways!", you said again.

// जाने किस रास्तें मुझको ले जाएंगे

बेदिशा ये मेरे डगमगाते कदम //

This time I ran after you, not letting go of the last flicker of hope. Was it a fever dream, when I saw it in your eyes, twinkling with the same love you once showered upon me? Suddenly you were nowhere; and I kept looking for you. You entered my life without giving me the chance to catch my breath. Obviously you had to leave without a goodbye. I'm no stranger to your strength, and you left again - leaving your words to haunt me.

Is it so easy to leave? Tell me, where do I go now? How do I live in this cruel city where I do not know what love is? "You can never be out of love. Never!", I remember your words. Your eyes never lied to me, or did they? Now I ask you, if the truth in your eyes was my home, have I always been tricked?

Now I'm wandering around, alone.

"But it's better to end it all now" were your words. “Trust me that’ll be good for both of us.” you said.

// साथ देती परछाइयां और मेहरबान हो रहे गम //

I was waiting, wanting you to come back. I was not strong. Those sharp pieces of the broken heart pierced hard. They hurt - so much that I couldn't keep sitting there. Wasn’t I fine before you? You were that cool breeze of autumn that I never knew I needed. And you blew away, before I could cherish the soothing melody of yours! Was it a fever dream when you said, "Promise me you won't give up on us, will you?" Your words soothed my fears that day. The calmness I found by your side was my solace. Only if I knew it was just an illusion!

I'm fine, living on my own. There's no pain anymore, but that emptiness in my soul killed me. So now does my ripped soul haunt your midnights too?

"It doesn't matter to me anymore, and it shouldn't matter to you too.", you said.

// तेरे साथ हो जाएंगे ख़तम

तुझे कितना चाहें और हम //

You were just a mirage in my deserted heart. It doesn't bother anymore. But was it a fever dream when you said, "If something is right in this wrong world, then that's our love". Oh my dearest, is it so easy to lie? Oh my heart, Is it so easy to fall for those lies?

Today you're out of love. You were gone long ago and now I've moved my way. I lost you and met my ghost. She laughed and said, “Go get a life, silly girl.” And suddenly I knew, the past I buried deep beneath your palace is no more a part of me. I died for you and you walked over my corpse to build your castle of fake gold. Now you’re haunted.

"We can still be friends, can't we?", you asked last night. "What we had was not love, it was so childish. But I can be a friend again.", you said. What a pity! Your shadow doesn’t resemble your face. Did it feel like a fever dream when I said no and walked out? Funny how my ghost haunts you and I don’t even know your name.

“Strangers wouldn’t have been called strangers if they went around making friends.” I said.

// तुझे कितना चाहें और हम //

Kingkinee Mazumdar

(Cotton University)

Kingkinee is a psychology major who is often lost inside her own head and stuck with writing words that she'll never say out loud. She hopes one day she'll find her place in this world though.